WHY DOES THE LA CORONER HAVE TO ADVERTISE?

Defying logic, every once in a while I still get lost in Lincoln Heights. This time the goal was to find the Macy's furniture outlet. At the point where Broadway branches into North and South Mission Blvd. I made the wrong choice. It was twilight as I cruised over the bridge past the beautiful Lincoln Heights park. For the first time I saw open space instead of urban grit. I had a flash of times past, a time when Lincoln Heights was the chic "IT" place to live.

It was getting dark, and I drove a while and when I reached Soto, I circled back down Mission. It was after work and I was getting tired, so I ditched the Outlet quest. In the darkness, the glow of a large red LED sign caught my eye. Words scrolled by...Los Angeles County Coroner.

I had to wonder, on the heels of my recent encounter with a coyote, was somebody trying to tell me something? Maybe this is how the angel of death lets you know it's time....with a message on a scrolling LED sign. Anybody remember Steve Martin's talking sign in "LA Story"?

The message scrolled by, and another appeared: Visit LACoroner.com

"Somebody is pulling my leg!" I thought. Why in the world would a coroner have to advertise? It's not like they need to drum up business and even if they did, how exactly would that be accomplished by a website?

Laughing all the way, I couldn't help rushing back home to my computer to check out the website. Just when you think you've seen everything...there it was at the top of the page: "Skeletons in the Closet--for those of us with dubious taste". I'll let you see for yourself, but in case you don't have the time (or have good taste), you are invited to open the closet. Inside you will find such cheesy options as "BOOverley Hills Drive, Pacific Ghost Highway, Earthly Remains", etc.

The point of all these corny puns? A store of course. I have to admit, I have my eye on a toe-tag keychain. Can I interest anybody in a "Body Bag" garment bag to carry their suit on the next business trip? Try that one on homeland security!

Mercifully, profits go to a drunk driving prevention program for young people. Whew!

Now you know what I want for Christmas next year!